if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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