Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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