I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
