Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just saw a hot homeless man
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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