the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
