"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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