she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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