I hate all girls vehemently.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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