I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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