Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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