Whod you bang
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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