Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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