did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
