Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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