Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
