Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
