Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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