Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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