We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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