U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
