hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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