If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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