So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize