I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
