I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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