omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
