I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
