You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize