You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
