I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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