doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
