Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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