Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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