So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
How does it feel to date your dad?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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