im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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