her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We are two peas in an std pod
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
