i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
