Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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