don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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