tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize