just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
