I hope mine doesn't look like that
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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