porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
