That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize