went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
