apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I touched a dick in church today
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
