At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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