So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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