"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
