just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize