My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
