eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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