Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
