oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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