I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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