plz talk dirty to me
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
