Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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