32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
