It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
